i must be the. the MIDWIFE.

[themidwife]

Hi!!! I'm Kari, I'm a twenty-year-old mathematics senior in Oregon, and I am dragging in one Karkat Vantas of Homestuck fame! He is normally a tiny ball of rage, vulgarity and capslock, but extensive AU has made him older, more capable of self-preservation, and preened him for his ideal calling:

IMPERIAL BIRTHING GUARDIAN.

Since I'm evidently incapable of writing anything serious ever. If you want to add me, I'm Karijou on Plurk and derpy angel on AIM.

My interesting factoid is that I am completely uninteresting w h o o p s.

EDIT: since I forget everything, he's effectively twenty-eight years old, terrible at everything, he only answers to "Midwife / Professor / Professor Midwife," and he's the new sex Ed teacher. WHOOPWHOOP.

Comments

[threshprinceoffuckyou]

WHY THE FUCK DID YOU ACTUALLY ANSWER THAT??? THERE ARE THREE POSSIBILITIES:

1) YOU'RE A BULGELICKER;
2) NO REALLY YOU'RE A GIGANTIC BULGELICKER AND YOUR TONGUE'S MAGNITUDE IS BIGGER THAN FEFERI'S FREAK SHOW LUSUS;
3) YOU'RE KARKAT VANTAS, CAPTAIN GRUBMOLESTER AND RESIDENT SHITSTAIN, EVERYBODY'S FAVORITE LUSUS AND HORN RAMMING BAG GOD I FEEL THE SAME WAY YOU SAD PATHETIC ASSFUCK

HERE'S THE ANSWER IN CASE YOUR GOATEE IS SUFFOCATING YOUR THINK PAN AGAIN: ALL OF THE ABOVE.